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Posts Tagged ‘people’

SHRINKY DINKS WILD WEST PARTY PACK

More Fun Than A Singin’ Longhorn In A Covered Wagon!

YEEHAW! Round up the gang! It’s time for a rootin’, tootin’ Wild West Shootin’ Shrinky Dinks Jamboree! Your wild west party pack provides the whole kit and caboodle for your shinkig including invitations and complete craftivity. Plus, buckaroos will have their own handmade party favor when it�s time to saddle up and hit the trail.

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It was a cold night. The strong wind was blowing into my room through the wide-opened window. I felt chills running through my spine. I was reading a book about giants under a warm, cozy blanket. A glass of hot cocoa sat beside me. My parents were snoozing in their bedroom. I was really into my book. After I read it, I started to wonder about giants.

Suddenly, a beam of light lit through the window. It hurt my eyes like someone was squeezing lemons in them. After a few seconds, it disappeared. I ran to the window and looked out. I spotted little people. They feasted their eyes on me as if they were going to eat me the moment I caught their eyes. They were only about 6 inches tall. One of the little people started to point at me with its little gun. Fear ran through my body. I hadn`t even a second left to yell. It blasted me with its little gun. I collapsed.

I woke up the next morning and figured it was all a dream. Everything seemed normal until I stood up and realized that I was only 6 inches tall… the same height as the little people! Even my pyjamas shrank. I started to scream eventhough I knew that no one would hear it. I felt like a mouse which was squeeking with hope that a deaf person would hear it. I could hear my mom calling for me. I hesitated. I panted. I had no idea what to do. I realized that the incident last night was for real! I slid down my bed and landed with a big smack.

I went out of my bedroom. My heart pounded loud the moment I saw the stairs. They were humongous! It took me about 40 minutes to reach downstairs. I was trying to catch my breath because I was so exhausted. My mom yelled for me once again. I knew she was furious. She always gets mad whenever people do not respond to her. I ran outside. Thank god the front door was open! I had to find the little people.

But I just couldn`t be so sure that everything would turn out fine, my pet dog, Albert, thought I was his “dog toy” and wanted to play with me! I ran away from him screaming, “Albert, boy, it`s me!”. He caught me with his paws and drooled all over me. I hit him hard on his paw. He let go of me. I started to run saying, “I`m never ever going to buy you a new dog toy, Albert!”. I was relieved when I saw the little people`s little space ship(I think). I ran near it and said, “Hello?”. After a few seconds, a little person came out of the “space ship”. It said, “How may I help you?”. I was wondering how they knew English, but no time to answer that. “Why did you zap me with your gun last night? And what are you guys? ” I said . “We mistook you for an enemy of ours. I apologize. Do not worry, we will take care of your problem. We are aliens from the planet Zaht, but please do not tell anyone” replied the little person. I felt secure and relieved to hear that. “Aliens? I thought so! Aliens are cool! And don`t worry,  won`t tell anyone! Why are you and your alien friends still here, by the way?” I asked. “Our space ship broke down, we are still fixing it. I will change you to your normal form now” replied the little person.  I stood still and he(I prefer to call the little person him now, because he could talk) blasted me once again with his little gun.

After a little while I bursted up to the sky! Suddenly, I was my normal self again! I was happy. I said “thank you” to the little man and he saluted me. I ran into my house and told myself not to tell anyone about this since I promised the little man that I would not. My mom saw me and yelled, “Where have you been, young man?! Couldn`t you hear me calling for you? Go change into proper clothes and eat your breakfast!”. I obeyed her orders and quickly ran upstairs to change. I looked out my bedroom window and there I saw the little people`s space ship flying away. I waved good bye and smiled. I thought to myself, what an experience!

THE END

By Junior K

Cartoon Alien by coghillcartooning.

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How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from your cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a marble and say, “Oh snap! My glass eye!”

General Ways to Annoy People
Announce when you’re going to the bathroom.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. “I’m Bob, nice to meet you…” “PROVE IT!”)
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate
Become a mime. Nothing is more annoying than a mime.
Ask your roommate if your family can move in “just for a couple of weeks.”
Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
Chain yourself to your roommate’s bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting.
Play “Pong” for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn’t work, get the supervisor.

Ways to Annoy People on the Beach
Wear t-shirt that says, “I’m the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please.”
Ask everyone you meet, “Hot enough for you?”
Sing the “Barney” theme song as loud as you can.
If you see kids building a sand castle, say, “That’s not a real castle!”

Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Offer people money for their spots in line…MONOPOLY money.
Find someone to tell your life story to.
Whisper right in someone’s ear, “I know what you did last summer.”

Ways To Annoy People On The Subway
Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
Constantly ask people for directions.
Don’t take a shower for a month.
Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.

Ways to Annoy People in the Office
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Email your boss the message: I know what you did last vacation.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.

Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask if you they can put food color in the cheese.
Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue.

How To Annoy People On An Airplane
Call the stewardess “nurse”.
Don’t use deoderant, then “accidently” stick your armpit in someone’s face
If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni.

Ways To Annoy Your Professors
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, “Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All” or “Idiot Who Doesn’t Know What In The World He’s Talking About.” Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.

Ways To Annoy A Cop
Hey, you must’ve been doin’ 125 mph to keep up with me!
You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

Annoying Things To Do In A Discount Superstore
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

Annoying Things To Say To Other People

Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
I’ve just been treated for tapeworms.

Ways to Annoy Santa Claus
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

How To Be Annoying At A Funeral
Tell the widow that you’re the deceased’s gay lover.
Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
Drive behind the widow’s limo and keep honking your horn.
Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.

Annoying Things To Do At A Drive Through Window
Specify that this order is “To Go”.
At midnight, ask if you are too early for Breakfast.
Laugh loudly when asked if you would like fries with your order.

Ways To Be Annoying In A Mall
Sprint up the down escalator.
Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing “Saved by the Bell”.
Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren’t looking.

How to Annoy (Get Rid Of) A Blind Date
Hold a debate. Take both sides.
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
Ask your date how much money they have with them.

Ways To Annoy People In Restaurants
Two Words: Food Fight.
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it’s a special performance for the people at the next table.
Whenever anyone leaves their seat at another table, put some particularly messy peice of food on their seat.

Ways To Annoy People At The Movies
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.

Annoying Things To Do At School
Leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.
Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.
End the paper with “This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds”.

How To Annoy Your Waiter
Eight hour lunch; two dollar tip.
Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?”
After he describes each special, you shout, “Stinks!”
Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage.”

How To Annoy Your Parents
Paint your windows.
Boil ice cream.
Join Hell’s Angels by mail.
Redecorate your garage.

Annoying Things To Do During A Job Interview
While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, “Big Kahuna.”

Annoying Things To Do In A Swimming Pool
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

Annoying Things to do at a Synagogue
Use the Jewish hat as a frisbee
Bring popcorn and keep saying “I heard that religion got a good review”
Leave cookies and milk in the middle of the synagoguge with a piece of paper that reads Santa
Ask people if they liked the passion

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